Hawk's Choice (Infernal Sons MC Book 3) Read online

  Hawk’s Choice

  Infernal Sons MC #3

  Carol Dawn

  Hawk’s Choice

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Copyright © 2020 Carolyn Jacobs (Carol Dawn)

  All rights reserved

  Published by Carolyn Jacobs

  Cover by Carolyn Jacobs

  Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.

  Dedication

  For those who are too afraid to shine.

  You are beautiful!

  Prologue

  Slim

  I’m so tired of pretending. I’m tired of hiding. I swear I will tell the Infernal Sons the truth about me. Someday.

  I don’t want to lose them as my family, but I don’t really want to be a patched member, either.

  I needed to get away. So, I do what I always do when pretending gets to be too much. I dress up, slide on my favorite heels, hide my face behind the beautiful colors and glitter of my makeup, and I go to, The Tunnel.

  It’s a nightclub for people like me. You know, gay men?

  I’m not ashamed of being gay. I’m not ashamed of wanting to feel pretty. But I am scared that I’ll be found. Not by the Sons. By someone even more dangerous.

  My uncle.

  Speaking of, I grab my tablet to see if he’s still far away.

  Yep, still in Canada.

  I pay the driver and exit the taxi. The second I close the door, he speeds away. No one really likes coming here. I don’t even like coming here. But it’s the only place where I can be myself without fear.

  I’m just about to the door when a group of guys blocks my way.

  “Well, looky what we got here, guys,” the biggest one says. “We got us a pretty little lady.”

  “I’m not a woman,” I say, hoping that will turn them off of their obvious plan.

  “Sure looks like you’re a woman,” another man says. “Maybe not underneath, but you still got yaself a hole now don’t ya?”

  Oh, no.

  I turn to walk away when I’m grabbed from behind. A hand wraps around my mouth and I’m punched in the stomach.

  “Whatcha say, fellas, wanna have some fun?”

  “HELL YEAH, MAN.”

  I’m dragged to a nearby car and shoved in the back, followed by the biggest man.

  Please, no. Please, don’t let this happen.

  I feel the tears rolling down my face.

  I didn’t even get to ask Bella for my watch back. I never got around to making another tracking device for myself.

  No one knows where I am or how to find me.

  The man lays on top of me as someone else drives the car away from the night club. The world around me slowly fades.

  Right before I lose continuousness, I only have one thought. One face. One person. One name on my mind.

  Hawk.

  Chapter One

  Hawk

  Slim is missing.

  The last time anyone heard from him was the day we rescued Bella. That was two days ago. There hasn’t been a peep since. We’ve checked his apartment, all of his favorite restaurants. We even checked the streets. No one has seen or heard from him.

  He didn’t just leave. I know it deep down in my bones that something is wrong. I’m worried sick. All of us are. The need to find Slim and protect him is overwhelming. It’s the only thing I’ve been able to focus on these past couple of days.

  Today was another wasted day. No new information. Nothing. It’s like he just vanished. It turns out, we don’t know anything about his past. Not where he’s from or who his family is.

  Those are answers I will get when I find him.

  “Have you tried the tracking app?” Bear asks over the phone.

  “Yeah,” I say. “But, it’s no use. Bella still has his watch. That’s where he put his tracking chip, remember?”

  “Fuck.”

  “I’m going to try and get some rest,” I tell my brother. “I’m going to Slim’s apartment tomorrow to look around. Something we should have done the first time we were there.”

  “Well, at the time, he was only missing for a few hours. We weren’t too concerned. Let me know if you need any help.”

  “Will do. Love you, man.”

  “You too, brother.”

  I don’t bother taking a shower or undressing before falling into bed. I’m exhausted but my worried mind won’t let me rest. When I get Slim home, I’m tying his ass down and sleeping for a week.

  Just as I’m drifting off to sleep, my house phone rings. Who would be calling me on my landline? Not many people have the number. I only have it in case the power goes out. The corded phone continues to work even without electricity. Which is something that happens often when a heavy storm blows through.

  Leaping from my bed, I rush into the living-room and to the phone beside my chair.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Hello, may I speak with Logan Allington, please?”

  “Speaking.”

  “Hi, Mr. Allington. My name is Shayla Conner. I’m a nurse here at Lebanon General Hospital. I have a Mr. Phoenix Owen here. You’re listed as his emergency contact.”

  “Phoenix? Is he okay?”

  “He’s doing much better. It was touch and go when he first came in a couple of days ago.”

  “A couple of days? Why the fuck are you just now calling me? I’ve been worried sick over him,” I shout.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Allington,” the nurse calmly replies. “He woke up briefly about an hour ago. He was able to give us his name before he fell back to sleep. He’s pretty sedated.”

  “What’s wrong with him?”

  “His injuries are severe, but he is stable and resting now.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” I ask again.

  “He has a grade two concussion, three broken ribs, and some cuts and bruises.”

  Fuck.

  “Does anyone know what happened?”

  “He hasn’t been able to tell us anything apart from his name.”

  I will kill whoever hurt him.

  “I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” I say before quickly hanging up.

  I grab my keys and rush outside.

  Jumping in my truck, I start it and speed out of the driveway. I can see Bear and Rose sitting on their porch with confused looks as I fly past their cabin.

  I know if I don’t call him first, he’ll call me. Taking my cell from my pocket, I call my brother.

  “What’s wrong?” he greets.

  “Phoenix is at Lebanon General,” I tell him. The knot in my throat is making it impossible to say anything more.

  “Alright, I’m going to take Rose over to Chains and Bella’s place. I’ll be right behind you,” he says, before hanging up.

  I toss my phone on the passenger seat and break every traffic law to get to Phoenix’s side.

  ***

  “My name is Logan Allington. I’m here about Phoenix Owen.”

  The receptionist checks her computer.

  “Mr. Owen is in room four nineteen. Just take the elevator up to the fourth floor and make a right.”

  I mumble my thanks and rush to the staircase. I’m not waiting on the damn elevator. I reach room four nineteen a couple minutes later. With my hand on the door handle, I take a deep breath to prepare for what I’m about to see.

  I open the door, and my heart drops.

  Lying on the bed is Phoenix. His beautiful face is brui
sed and swollen, and his body is connected to multiple machines. I stop there by the door, frozen.

  I’m not sure how long I stand there and stare, but eventually, someone walks in behind me.

  “Mr. Allington, I presume?”

  “Uhm…Yeah,” I answer, without looking away. “Just call me Hawk.”

  “Hawk, my name is Shayla Conner. I’m Mr. Owen’s nurse.”

  “How is he?” I ask, still not moving from my spot near the door.

  “He looks worse than he is,” she says, reassuringly. “The pain medication that we’ve been giving him is making him drowsy. He’s woken up twice now and we were only able to get his name before he went back under.”

  “How did he get here?”

  “A woman found him unconscious on the side of the road when she was out walking her dogs. She called the police and he was brought here.”

  The nurse walks around me and to the machines. She makes some notes before turning and walking to the door.

  “Go talk to him, Mr. Hawk,” the nurse says. “He needs to hear a familiar voice. If you need anything just hit the call button on his bed.”

  Before Nurse Shayla closes the door, I find myself standing at Phoenix’s side.

  “Who did this to you, my sweet boy?” I whisper to the quiet room.

  I’ve kept myself emotionally distant from Phoenix for over a year now. I knew the very moment he barged into our old building that my life was forever changed. I also knew that I was going to have to fight myself with everything I had to stay away from him. I wasn’t sure if he was gay or not at the time and I didn’t want him to feel pressured by my forwardness and leave.

  He thinks we accepted him as a prospect because of his amazing ability to do anything electronic related. But that wasn’t the case.

  The boy was running from something. Or someone. We could all see it even though he never said a word about it.

  He needed a place to lay low. A place to feel safe. So, Bear, our president, gave it to him.

  He’s renting the apartment above Ink’s tattoo shop. It’s on the same land as the old clubhouse. Luckily, it was far enough away that when the old clubhouse was burned to the ground, it didn’t affect their building.

  Phoenix has been a prospect for a little over a year now. Typically, the trial period for a prospect is one year before we cast the vote to see if they should be patched in.

  It’s past time for that vote. But, every now and again Phoenix will drop the tough biker persona he’s been shielding himself with and we get a glimpse of someone else.

  Someone who doesn’t want to be a biker. Someone who is softer than he lets people see. Someone who craves safety but is too afraid to ask for help.

  We won’t patch him in as a brother until we know for sure that it’s something he wants, completely.

  I’m brought out of my thoughts when I feel my hand being gently squeezed.

  “Phoenix, it’s alright, sweetheart. I’m here.”

  So very slowly, he opens his eyes.

  “Hawk,” he whispers.

  “Hey there, sweet boy,” I manage to say around the tightness of my throat.

  “Am I in heaven?” he asks, with a voice of wonder.

  I fight back a smile. “No. Not sure they would let my ugly mug through those pearly gates,” I joke. “You’re in the hospital.”

  “You are my heaven,” he whispers, softly.

  So softly that I almost didn’t hear it.

  Almost.

  I lose the battle and a smile spreads across my face. I want to tell him that he’s my world. That every part of my soul belongs to him. That I’ll find whoever hurt him and kill them.

  But I don’t want to scare him with my truths just yet. However, I am done standing back. I’m finished watching my man live part of his life without me. My heart beats in tandem with his. He’s my home. He’s my everything.

  And, it’s about damn time he learns that.

  Just not yet.

  “Can you tell me who did this to you?” I ask.

  “Tunnel.”

  “Who is Tunnel?” I ask.

  “Water.”

  I reach over and grab the cup of water sitting on his tray. After raising the head of his bed slightly, I press the straw to his cracked lips.

  “Drink slowly, baby.”

  His eyes widen slightly at my pet name before he sips the water. I remove the straw from his lips after a few sips and place the cup back on the tray.

  “Now, who is Tunnel?” I ask, again.

  “Not who. Place.”

  He turns his head to cough and that’s when I notice the four finger-shaped bruises on his neck.

  I see red.

  Someone dared to wrap their fucking hands around my man’s throat?

  “Hawk,” Phoenix says, concerned. “Hey, I’m okay.”

  “You are not fucking okay, Phoenix,” I say with barely restrained rage. “You were attacked, someone fucking beat you. Your beautiful face is bruised and swollen.”

  “You think my face is beautiful?” he whispers.

  “Focus,” I say. “I need you to tell me what happened.”

  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

  “I went to a nightclub last night.”

  “You mean two nights ago,” I interrupt.

  “What?” he says, his eyes opening wide. “Two?”

  “Yeah Phoenix, you were gone for two days. Two long fucking days.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes while he processes this.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I knew the part of town was a nasty neighborhood. I should have at least told someone where I was going.”

  “No, you should have told me where you were going, and I would have gone with you.”

  “I just needed to be someplace where I could be myself for a few hours,” he admits.

  “We’re coming back to that, but first, tell me what happened?”

  He looks at me, silently, for a long time before he starts talking.

  “It’s really hard pretending to be someone you’re not. It takes a lot of mental strength to pull off a different personality than the one that’s begging to be set free. I’m so tired, Hawk. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of hiding. I just want to be free,” he ends on a whisper as tears track down his bruised face.

  I want to wipe his tears away but am afraid my rough hands will hurt him further.

  “I don’t go often,” he continues. “But from time to time pretending gets to be too much. The Tunnel is a place where I can go and be myself. After we rescued Bella, I just needed a break from being a biker. So, I went to the club. Before I even got the door, I was surrounded by a group of guys. They grabbed me and shoved me in their car. I’m not sure where they took me, but it wasn’t very far.”

  I clench my fists trying to control my rage. “What did they do, baby?”

  “I thought they were going to violate me,” he whispers tearfully. “They made it sound like that was exactly their plan. They said it was because I was…” he stops.

  “Was what?” I push.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he says, quickly. “They stopped the car and shoved me out of the door. I was just about to jump up and run when they started kicking me. At one point, one of the guys started choking me. It didn’t take long for me to pass out. The next time I opened my eyes I was surrounded by doctors and nurses asking me who I was.”

  The tears were streaming down his face. I couldn’t hold back any longer.

  “You’re safe now, my sweet boy,” I whisper as I gently wipe away his tears.

  “I’m tired,” he says in a broken voice. “I just want to be me.”

  I knew that he was hiding behind this biker shell. We all knew it. I can’t wait to show him that he can be himself around me. Around all of us.

  “I’m gay, Hawk,” he admits as his eyes drift closed. “I was never trying to hide that part of myself, but I needed to bury every part of who I am deep enough tha
t I would never be found.”

  “I already knew that, Phoenix,” I tell him. “I want you to get some rest. We’ll talk about all of that, plus more when you’re better.”

  It doesn’t take long for him to fall back to sleep. I lean down and press the lightest kiss to his forehead. We have a lot to talk about. He needs to tell me what he’s running from. But first I have a group of men to visit.

  Promising myself that I’ll return in no time, I turn to leave. Bear is leaning against the door, blocking my way.

  “Did you hear?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says. “I already have Trigger on it. You don’t need to get your hands dirty with this one, brother. Just stay here and watch over your guy.”

  I raise my eyebrows at his statement.

  “Anyone can see how messed up you are over Slim, brother. He has you by the balls and he doesn’t even realize it. Stay here, Trig has it handled.”

  “Not fucking happening, Bear. They fucking hurt him. I want them dead.”

  “Do you think Trigger will accept anything less? Let him deal with those fuckers. If you get caught and land in jail, how are you going to look after Slim?”

  Knowing that he’s right doesn’t make me happy. I know Trigger will take care of it, but I really wanted to wrap my fingers around all of their fucking throats. My brother must see the acceptance in my eyes. He grabs my left shoulder and I instinctively grab his before we lean forward and our foreheads touch.

  “You focus on Slim, let us handle what needs to be handled,” Bear says. “But, the moment he’s awake, you need to sit down and have a long chat with him. You two have been dancing around one another going on a year now. You want him, brother? Fucking fight to get him.”

  He pulls me in for a hug before he turns and leaves. I grab a chair from the corner of the room and place it beside the hospital bed. I grab Phoenix’s hand and gently squeeze it.

  “Things are going to change, sweet boy,” I whisper. “I want you. The real you. Please, trust me to protect you.”

  I feel my hand being slightly squeezed. I look down at a sleeping Phoenix. My beautiful Phoenix. I don’t know if he heard me, but it doesn’t matter. Because I will fight tooth and nail to make him mine.